She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
