Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
