i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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