In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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