he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
