can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i will never coherently bang her
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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