im drinking this country out of the recession.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
