We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
