But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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