I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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