i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
