So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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