so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
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the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
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Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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