Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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