Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Duck Duck Cougar?
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
