am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
