Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
