That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
