i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize