I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
