what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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