just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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