Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote http://tfl.nu/x0fb
  Replies (5) Good night (647) Bad night (2726)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (715): went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower. http://tfl.nu/u1zb
  Replies (22) Good night (8037) Bad night (1357)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity. http://tfl.nu/nf2x
  Replies (20) Good night (5491) Bad night (1324)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone? http://tfl.nu/ubfa
  Replies (5) Good night (2787) Bad night (1088)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name http://tfl.nu/36j9
  Replies (4) Good night (3288) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine. http://tfl.nu/ewch
  Replies (18) Good night (1824) Bad night (4117)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (516): I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen http://tfl.nu/keq8
  Replies (18) Good night (1382) Bad night (8907)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax? http://tfl.nu/zknj
  Replies (12) Good night (3674) Bad night (1330)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian http://tfl.nu/9eu3
  Replies (30) Good night (6924) Bad night (2898)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (202): you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry. http://tfl.nu/e7cu
  Replies (9) Good night (7401) Bad night (1090)
• Favorite

  (808): View more from Hawaii

  mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (808): mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done. http://tfl.nu/ufw3
  Replies (7) Good night (2055) Bad night (1059)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night. http://tfl.nu/mkun
  Replies (7) Good night (861) Bad night (1387)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up? http://tfl.nu/j9qb
  Replies (4) Good night (780) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (269): View more from Michigan

  I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (269): I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work http://tfl.nu/fkwe
  Replies (1) Good night (753) Bad night (351)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup. http://tfl.nu/pt6l
  Replies (3) Good night (887) Bad night (338)

Randomize