Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.