Jerry, you need to find god
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
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Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
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Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash