Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.