Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i

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  (650): the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i <3 spencer pratt" tattoo... http://tfl.nu/08eh
  Replies (17) Good night (553) Bad night (2006)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.

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  (859): Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive. http://tfl.nu/9k83
  Replies (22) Good night (974) Bad night (5487)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone

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  (206): he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone http://tfl.nu/bnn4
  Replies (26) Good night (5758) Bad night (1219)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"

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  (602): and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time" http://tfl.nu/r7we
  Replies (40) Good night (8426) Bad night (3091)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid

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  (708): She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid http://tfl.nu/fpm2
  Replies (26) Good night (8410) Bad night (882)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.

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  (210): If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings. http://tfl.nu/8q1l
  Replies (9) Good night (4275) Bad night (785)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.

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  (715): haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate. http://tfl.nu/9gey
  Replies (1) Good night (1674) Bad night (745)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."

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  (952): I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg." http://tfl.nu/4tux
  Replies (2) Good night (2977) Bad night (616)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?

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  (812): I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom? http://tfl.nu/ubnw
  Replies (3) Good night (877) Bad night (680)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?

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  (253): How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head? http://tfl.nu/0ahi
  Replies (6) Good night (787) Bad night (580)
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  (858): View more from California

  There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.

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  (858): There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie. http://tfl.nu/bbcq
  Replies (5) Good night (1065) Bad night (309)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome

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  (507): If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome http://tfl.nu/ndd2
  Replies (4) Good night (836) Bad night (370)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.

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  (307): We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying. http://tfl.nu/19ej
  Replies (2) Good night (1429) Bad night (339)
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  (585): View more from New York

  You get home okay?

  (1-585): View more from New York

  I'm pantless and in bed

  (585): View more from New York

  That doesn't mean you're at home.

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  (585): You get home okay? (1-585): I'm pantless and in bed (585): That doesn't mean you're at home. http://tfl.nu/bq7s
  Replies (2) Good night (1171) Bad night (269)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.

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  (802): I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises. http://tfl.nu/ux2t
  Replies (1) Good night (686) Bad night (284)

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