my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea