Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Are we still banned from the library?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.