Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
