Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight