shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
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Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
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I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage