dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
