I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
