Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
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long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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