Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
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You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
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If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize