12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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