Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
