Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
