The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
