Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
