I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
