left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
