they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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