I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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