the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
