I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
