I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize