very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
