She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
