scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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