Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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