Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.

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(972): View more from Texas

**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**

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(256): View more from Alabama

I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.

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(916): View more from California

i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(815): View more from Illinois

I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.

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(512): View more from Texas

Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.

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(858): View more from California

Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?

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