she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.