Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(434): View more from Virginia

you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.

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(303): View more from Colorado

He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!

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(519): View more from Ontario

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(618): View more from Illinois

There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.

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(319): View more from Iowa

You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.

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(316): View more from Kansas

She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.

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(224): View more from Illinois

Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.

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