Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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