he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Randomize
