What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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