I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
