Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
