Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
